Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Web Experts: New Social Website to Outpace Twitter

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. – With the Silicon Valley’s eyes focused on Twitter’s initial public offering on Wednesday – expected to put the company’s market capitalization between $14 and $18 billion – another new comer to the social media space will also debut its stock this week, possibly surpassing the microblogger’s value.

In spite of having less than a quarter of Twitter’s users, about $100 million less in annual revenue than the microblogger, and having yet to show a profit, Silicon Valley venture capitalists and Greenwich, Conn., hedge fund managers see a robust future for (Ticker: FUKU).

“Hate can be perpetual and now there’s an ad play for that,” said Diane Smartskey, managing director at venture fund Market Stretch in Menlo Park, Calif. “Besides, it’s easy to understand.”

“Nobody like really likes anyone,” said Joseph Lindler, managing director of OPM in Greenwich, Conn.  “I hate being friends on Facebook – as well as LinkedIn.” shows promise as the Valley’s next hot stock when it starts trading on NASDAQ on Friday, with a valuation, some experts say, reaching $20 billion.

Initially the website had offered shares at $40.  But as the frenzy over the website’s potential increased, the per share price jumped, at first, to $45 and, then, later, to $60, optimism for the website’s future grew.

“This thing could easily have a market capitalization of $20 billion by Friday afternoon,” said Smartskey.

“The best thing they have on their website is the ‘b.s.’ button,” she said.  “It allows users an opportunity to tell people what they think of their posts and, if you’re really angry, there’s even one with the letters “f.y.”

Hate groups, like the Ku Klux Klan and the Black Muslims, are sponsoring these buttons so every time a user clicks on them, a message from the group pops up on their screen – and gathers all their personal information so they can be added to their mail lists or be targeted for a cross burning.

Other major advertisers include the National Rifle Association, Planned Parenthood, divorce attorneys, political parties as well as therapists offering services to help people overcome their hate. has become the place where people, of all stripes, tell others what they really think of them – out in the open for everyone to see.

“Right after John Kerry was sworn in as secretary of state, Hillary Clinton became a user,” said Bonnie McMurtey, a San Francisco-based Internet industry observer.  “President Obama was first on her shit list, so you can see where this thing’s going.”

“We’ve got Democrats hating Democrats, Republicans hating Republicans, Republicans hating Democrats, Democrats hating Republicans – and Tea Party people hating everyone, including one another,” said the website’s 28-year-old CEO, Joe Lee. 

“Vladimir Putin hates Obama; Obama hates German Chancellor Angela Merkel, who’s also hated by Putin, as well as by most of Greece; and the Syrian president – what the fuck’s his name? – hating Obama,” he added.

It’s a great place for divorced couples, too.

“People drop friends, husbands, wives and lovers – sometimes even their siblings and their children – on Facebook and professional colleagues on LinkedIn and then use those names to build out their shit list on FuckyouIhateyou,” said Alliance Capital Managing Director Marvin Stumps in an earlier interview, before the website announced it would go public.

Alliance Capital, also based in Menlo Park, was an early stage investor in and stands to make billions when the stock starts trading.

Hate groups are forming on the website, too, says McMurtey.

“The Starbucks one hates the Dunkin’ Donuts one,” she said.  “Just like McDonald’s customers can’t stand Burger King people.”

Berkshire Hathaway Chairman Warren Buffet also uses the website.

“He hates the website but loves our financial performance,” Stumps said.

The site has an international version, too, for Afghanistan.

“This is a wonderful place for,” said McMurtey.  “There are whole families hating other whole families – for centuries! – which only increases its user list and its ad dollars from various international arms dealers.”

1 comment:

Matt Maldre said...

Wow. Joseph Lindler really needs a hug.