MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. – With the Silicon Valley’s eyes focused
on Twitter’s initial public offering on Wednesday – expected to put the
company’s market capitalization between $14 and $18 billion – another new comer
to the social media space will also debut its stock this week, possibly surpassing
the microblogger’s value.
In spite of having less than a quarter of Twitter’s users,
about $100 million less in annual revenue than the microblogger, and having yet
to show a profit, Silicon Valley venture capitalists and Greenwich, Conn.,
hedge fund managers see a robust future for FuckyouIhateyou.com (Ticker: FUKU).
“Hate can be perpetual and now there’s an ad play for that,”
said Diane Smartskey, managing director at venture fund Market Stretch in Menlo Park, Calif. “Besides,
it’s easy to understand.”
“Nobody like really likes anyone,” said Joseph Lindler,
managing director of OPM in Greenwich, Conn. “I hate being friends on Facebook – as well as LinkedIn.”
FuckyouIhateyou.com shows promise as the Valley’s next hot
stock when it starts trading on NASDAQ on Friday, with a valuation, some
experts say, reaching $20 billion.
Initially the website had offered shares at $40. But as the frenzy over the website’s
potential increased, the per share price jumped, at first, to $45 and, then,
later, to $60, optimism for the website’s future grew.
“This thing could easily have a market capitalization of $20
billion by Friday afternoon,” said Smartskey.
“The best thing they have on their website is the ‘b.s.’
button,” she said. “It allows
users an opportunity to tell people what they think of their posts and, if you’re
really angry, there’s even one with the letters “f.y.”
Hate groups, like the Ku Klux Klan and the Black Muslims,
are sponsoring these buttons so every time a user clicks on them, a message
from the group pops up on their screen – and gathers all their personal
information so they can be added to their mail lists or be targeted for a cross
burning.
Other major advertisers include the National Rifle Association,
Planned Parenthood, divorce attorneys, political parties as well as therapists
offering services to help people overcome their hate.
FuckyouIhateyou.com has become the place where people, of
all stripes, tell others what they really think of them – out in the open for
everyone to see.
“Right after John Kerry was sworn in as secretary of state,
Hillary Clinton became a user,” said Bonnie McMurtey, a San Francisco-based
Internet industry observer.
“President Obama was first on her shit list, so you can see where this
thing’s going.”
“We’ve got Democrats hating Democrats, Republicans hating
Republicans, Republicans hating Democrats, Democrats hating Republicans – and
Tea Party people hating everyone, including one another,” said the website’s 28-year-old
CEO, Joe Lee.
“Vladimir Putin hates Obama; Obama hates German Chancellor
Angela Merkel, who’s also hated by Putin, as well as by most of Greece; and the
Syrian president – what the fuck’s his name? – hating Obama,” he added.
It’s a great place for divorced couples, too.
“People drop friends, husbands, wives and lovers – sometimes
even their siblings and their children – on Facebook and professional
colleagues on LinkedIn and then use those names to build out their shit list on
FuckyouIhateyou,” said Alliance Capital Managing Director Marvin Stumps in an
earlier interview, before the website announced it would go public.
Alliance Capital, also based in Menlo Park, was an early
stage investor in FuckyouIhateyou.com and stands to make billions when the
stock starts trading.
Hate groups are forming on the website, too, says McMurtey.
“The Starbucks one hates the Dunkin’ Donuts one,” she
said. “Just like McDonald’s
customers can’t stand Burger King people.”
Berkshire Hathaway Chairman Warren Buffet also uses the
website.
“He hates the website but loves our financial performance,”
Stumps said.
The site has an international version, too, for Afghanistan.
“This is a wonderful place for FuckyouIhateyou.com,” said
McMurtey. “There are whole families
hating other whole families – for centuries! – which only increases its user
list and its ad dollars from various international arms dealers.”
1 comment:
Wow. Joseph Lindler really needs a hug.
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