Saturday, August 09, 2008

Senator Edwards Explains America and Sex

CHAPEL HILL, N.C. – Former U.S. Sen. John Edwards, once his party’s vice presidential nominee, used his presidential campaign theme on Saturday to explain his recent exploits, saying there are some Americans who are committed to sexually monogamous marriages while there are other married Americans like himself “who fuck around.”

“Unfortunately, I got caught,” said the former North Carolina Democrat, admitting to having engaged in a sexual liaison with a California movie maker.

The former Senator is the second prominent Democrat this year to admit to having sex outside of his marriage. Eliot Spitzer, never accused of having a libido, resigned from the New York’s governor’s office in March because of the sexual services he purchased from a prostitute.

“There are two Americas,” former Senator Edwards said. “There are married Americans who are committed to remaining sexually monogamous in their marriage and then there is another America, consisting of married men and women, who, like me, fuck around on their spouse.”

Asked if there was any comparison to the former New York Governor, Edwards said, “There are two Americas. There’s the one that pays for sex and then there’s other that gets it for free – kinda like me.”

The former Senator’s wife, Elizabeth, battling cancer, refused to issue any comment about the affair.

“There are two kinds of wives,” Edwards said. “There’s the kind of wife who puts out and who, by doing so, keeps her man safe at home, and then there’s the kind of wife who engages in risky behavior and refuses to have sex with her husband.

“She’s the one who loses her man,” Edwards said.

“We don’t really know what a ‘sexual liaison’ is,” said a man who’s no stranger to dalliances outside of his marriage, former President Bill Clinton. “He (Edwards) coulda just received a hummer and, according to the Constitution, that’s not really sex.”

“Less than one percent of all American women have had sex with me,” said Edwards. “I plan to get back out on the campaign trail to give more American women the opportunity to have sex with me.”

Asked if there was anything in particular he was looking for in a potential sexual partner, Senator Edwards, smiling, said, “As long as it’s a woman who’s over 21 – and she’s not a complete double bagger – I’m in.”

1 comment:

Leigh Hanlon said...

Well put, Doug.

What amazes me is how the mainstream media sat on its collective ass ever since the National Enquirer broke this story last fall -- and they're clearly still reluctant to report on it.

I'm so fed up with the incessant handwringing about whether this asshat is now a private citizen and whether the incidents were sufficiently proven. The Enquirer nailed this story good and proper, same as they nailed stories about Gary Hart and Jesse Jackson.

The New York Times didn't seem to have any qualms about running that phony story about John McCain and the alleged affair with the lobbyist. Nor did CBS hesitate to run Dan Rather's flawed story about George W. Bush's service record.

So why the reluctance in the case of Edwards? I believe much of the problem is that members of the mainstream media are under the pathetic delusion that they are in the same social stratum as these corrupt power-brokers simply because the media are tolerated at parties, dinners and invited on junkets. They view Edwards as one of their own.

I work in the mainstream media and I'm amazed that others in my business fail to see the damage that ignoring the Edwards case for so long has done to their credibility.

If the mainstream media held off on the Edwards story for so long, doesn't that make you wonder what else they've decided that we don't need to know about?