Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Web Experts: New Social Website to Outpace Twitter


MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. – With the Silicon Valley’s eyes focused on Twitter’s initial public offering on Wednesday – expected to put the company’s market capitalization between $14 and $18 billion – another new comer to the social media space will also debut its stock this week, possibly surpassing the microblogger’s value.

Despite having less than a quarter of Twitter’s users, $100 million less in annual revenue than the microblogger, and having yet to show a profit, Silicon Valley venture capitalists and a Greenwich, Conn., hedge fund manager see a robust future for FuckyouIhateyou.com (Ticker: FUKU).

“Hate can be perpetual and now there’s an ad play for that,” said Diane Smartskey, managing director at venture fund Market Stretch in Menlo Park, Calif. “Besides, it’s easy to understand.”

“Nobody like really likes anyone,” said Joseph Lindler, managing director of hedge fund OPM in Greenwich, Conn. “I hate being friends on Facebook – as well as LinkedIn.”

FuckyouIhateyou.com shows promise as the Valley’s next hot stock when it starts trading on NASDAQ on Friday, with a valuation, some experts say, reaching $20 billion.

“This thing could easily have a market capitalization of $20 billion by Friday afternoon,” said Smartskey.

Initially the website offered shares at $40. But as the frenzy over the website’s potential increased, the per share price jumped, at first, to $45 and, then, later, to $60, optimism for the website’s future grew.

"Right now, the sky's the limit on the stock price," Smartskey said

“The best thing they have on their website is the ‘b.s.’ button,” she added.  “It allows users an opportunity to tell people what they think of their posts and, if you’re really angry, there’s even one with the letters “f.y.”

Hate groups and racist ones, like the Ku Klux Klan and the Black Muslims, are sponsoring these buttons so every time a user clicks on them, a message from the group pops up in their feed – and gathers up all their personal information so they can be added to their mail lists or be targeted to attend a cross burning or any other event a hate group is planning.

Other major advertisers include the National Rifle Association, Planned Parenthood, divorce attorneys, political parties as well as therapists offering services to help people overcome their hate.

FuckyouIhateyou.com has become the place where people, of all stripes, tell others what they really think of others – out in the open for everyone to see.

“Right after John Kerry was sworn in as secretary of state, Hillary Clinton became a user,” said Bonnie McMurtey, a San Francisco-based Internet industry observer.  “President Obama was first on her shit list, so you can see where this thing’s going.”

“We’ve got Democrats hating Democrats, Republicans hating Republicans, Republicans hating Democrats, Democrats hating Republicans – and Tea Party people hating everyone, including one another,” said the website’s 28-year-old CEO, Joe Lee. 

“Vladimir Putin hates Obama; Obama hates German Chancellor Angela Merkel, who’s also hated by Putin, as well as by most of Greece; and the Syrian president – what the fuck’s his name? – hating Obama,” he added.

It’s a great place for divorced couples, too.

“People drop friends, husbands, wives and lovers – sometimes even their siblings and their children – on Facebook and professional colleagues on LinkedIn and then use those names to build out their shit lists on FuckyouIhateyou,” said Alliance Capital Managing Director Marvin Stumps in an earlier interview, before the website announced it would go public.

Alliance Capital, also based in Menlo Park, was an early stage investor in FuckyouIhateyou.com and stands to make billions when the stock starts trading.

Hate groups are forming on the website, too, says McMurtey.

“The Starbucks one hates the Dunkin’ Donuts one,” she said.  “Just like McDonald’s customers can’t stand Burger King people.”

Berkshire Hathaway Chairman Warren Buffet also uses the website.

“He hates the website but loves our financial performance,” Stumps said, "which is why he owns millions of shares.

The site has an international version, too, for places like Afghanistan, Iraq and other countries at war. 

“Afghanistan is a particularly wonderful place for FuckyouIhateyou.com,” said McMurtey.  “There are whole families and clans hating other whole families and clans – for centuries! – which only increases user lists, propelling more ad dollars from various international arms dealers.”

1 comment:

Matt Maldre said...

Wow. Joseph Lindler really needs a hug.